The '024 Doomy Awards presented by 3am Revelations

It’s the end of the year, and you know what that means; the time when I get on my soapbox about how much I don’t care for lists! And at the top of the list of lists I don’t like? It’s Year End Lists. Sure, I could sit down, make a numbered list with a paragraph or two for each album, but let’s be honest, you’re not gonna read all that. Besides, who actually enjoys ranking art? So as is now tradition, that's where The Doomy Awards come in. In lieu of a “best of” list, I give you the award show you were waiting for (whether you knew it or not).

The ‘024 Doomy Awards presented by 3am Revelations

Awarded for Outstanding Musical Musicianship
in the Field of Music

As always, these awards take a look at this year in music and honour the deserving songs, albums, and artists in the form of goofy award categories, as chosen by me (Kirk). And even though some awards may be a little obtuse, these are legitimately some of my favourites of the year. The only eligibility criteria is albums or EPs released in the year 2024 (sorry, singles). Below will be a playlist with all the songs, but where possible I’ve also linked to the artist’s website or bandcamp, where you can/should pick up these albums!

So without further ado, and in no particular order…

Song Title That Best Describes How Everyone is Handling Living in 2024
“Doing My Best” by Sam Lynch
off the album Outline

Best Singalong for a Day You're Not Planning on Leaving the House
“Making the Most of It” by Major Love
off the album Live, Laugh, Major Love

Best Song for Regretting Leaving the House
“Wish I Was In Bed” by Kylie V
off the album Crash Test Plane

Best Callback to a Previous Song
“He went searching for the girl down on Jubilee Street”
from the song “Wild God” by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
off the album Wild God

Best Song About a Metro Vancouver Suburb
“a bit of coquitlam” by p:ano
off the album ba ba ba

Best Song About Wanting to Befriend a 90s Grunge Icon
“Eddie Vedder” by The Matinee
off the EP End of Scene

Best Song that “Hangman” Adam Page Should Use as His Entrance Theme
“What it Takes” by Bend Sinister
off the album Mostly Great Things

Best Song to Hype Yourself Up
“Exhale” by iskwē
off the album nīna

Best Song to Play at the First Day of Camp Firewood
“Tidal Wave” by Alana Yorke
off the album Destroyer

Best Song to Herald a Comeback After 15 Years
“Reappearing Rat” by Sunset Rubdown
off the album Always Happy To Explode

Deadliest Metaphor for Life
“The Act of Living” by Skye Wallace
off the album The Act of Living
(This song was also awarded Best Video Featuring a Singer Murdering Their Band)

Best Soundtrack to Finding Your Coven
“The Ballad of the Witches’ Road” by Agatha Harkness
from the show Agatha All Along

Best Song About a Bandmate Visiting Art Galleries
“Nic at the Museum” by Unessential Oils
off the album Unessential Oils

Song Title That Has the Most Different Meaning for the Terminally Online
“Goon” by Dear Rouge
off the album Lonesome High

Best Song to Listen to Around the Campfire at Night
“High Summer” by Joel Plaskett
off the album One Real Reveal

The “Old Apartment” Award for Best Song Reminiscing About Past Relationships
“Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” by David Vertesi
off the album Fictionalized

Best Song to Send Someone You Plan on Dumping
“Bad Love” by Phildel
off the album Into the Woods

Best Song to Send Someone You Have No Romantic Interest In at All
“Never Gonna Love You” by Kandle
off the album Danger To Dream

Worst Lyric to Include in your Dating App Profile
“I heard you wanted a challenge, Well baby here I am”
from the song “Everything I Ever Wanted” by The Darcys
off the album Rendering Feelings

Best Lyric to Include in your Dating App Profile
“Don’t want summer Mondays, Don’t want stunning wordplay, All I want is, All I want is you”
“All I Want is You” by The Decemberists
off the album As It Ever Was, So It Will Be Again

Album That I Least Want to Make a Joke About, Given the Title
“NO TITLE AS OF 13 FEBRUARY 2024 28,340 DEAD” by Godspeed You! Black Emperor